Your Bed Is An Anxious Place

This is a double, no triple post because two distinct areas of anxiety are covered by one troublesome asset: Your bed.

Issue one: Clean sheets. As somebody who relishes my own anxiety, there is no need to explain why. However, combine issue one with issue two--

Issue two: Honkin' mattresses. What the..? Why is this thing so big? When did top mattresses become a competition for the princess and the pea? Dear mattress industry: The future is doing things smaller. Duh.

Granted, a mattress beats futons, sofas, mats and/or the floor. But what's happened here is, top mattress have become so insanely large, that a team of four can longer get a bottom sheet on without the help of seven more. In turn, come laundry day, we sleepers are forced to reconcile our need for clean sheets with our disdain for fitting a bottom sheet back on.

It's a tough call. To make matters worse, the bottom sheet needs the most cleaning.

Yep. I've done it again. Let your heart rate rise, curse until the cows come home, because that bottom sheet was invented to give you anxiety. Blessed be us all.