It's natural to categorize humanity, and I've done so with remarkable ease. I believe this to be the modern, prominent theory in human division starting... now.
Forget men/women, Gay/straight, old/young, Black/white. This is my proposition--
The strong and crooked eat sugar off the cane, never floss, don't even know what a dentist does for a living, and live a life of perpetual happiness. Sure their teeth aren't visually perfect, but their minds are. These people really can be somebody.
Then there are those born with perfect teeth. Straight, white, clean. That's me. People often tell me how lucky I am, that's because they don't understand my theory on human categorization. Behind the clean lines and bright smile is a wicked case of cavities, root canals and anxiety. People like me, roughly 50% of the world, can't so much as finger a soft drink without receiving a $2000 dentist bill.
Notice my use of numbers and statistics.
My theory concludes that half of all people in this world are happy-go-lucky, successful over achievers with a less than perfect smile but an inner strength that carries them. The other half are forced to rely on a false sense of self and can't sleep knowing their teeth might crumble into powdery chunks if they bite a cantaloupe with haste. And just so you know, I had to spell check "cantaloupe" because of my teeth.
For your daily dose of anxiety, decide which category you fall into.
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