I'd Like To Join A Gym, but...

...then I'd be subject to the interrogation and judgement of the gym employees.

"What are your goals?"

"How much do you want to lose?"

"You're fat, straight up."

"P.S. hope you're rich cuz it's expensive here. Period."

Is this some sort of psychological test? Make me feel terrible, and I'll pay you for it? A foolproof method to a day's dose of anxiety is entering a gym.